The End Is Nigh...

**I AM ONLY KEEPING THIS FOR MEMORY PURPOSES, THIS INFORMATION IS OUTDATED AND IRRELEVANT**

Kabort Motorsport is dying. Four words I never thought I'd ever hear.

If I were to go back to last summer, or even just a month ago... and tell myself that, I'd scoff and say something humorous like "bullsh*t" and laugh it off. But sitting here, the reality has hit me.

In Kabort's life-time, since May of this year, she's had a total of 48 drivers - not all at once, but over the period of 6 months...

I remember the days of boasting to people that I was the team manager of a 24 strong team, that raced every other weekend...yet now...we have barely half. I remember the days of coming home from college and being flooded with discord notifications, every single channel bursting with life and activity... I remember the days of heading into the weekend knowing that we'd be running a full LMP1 car and 2 GTE'S...for an 8 hour race, that's an achievement. I remember the days of the enthusiasm as everyone finished (or not) and rushed to tell the team the result....I was proud, I was happy. I finally remember the days of everyone saying nice things - about the merchandise, the servers, the team itself... I remember when Kabort was a team. As I sit here, I just can't believe how quickly and how badly everything went wrong...I almost feel empty. I have poured hours and pounds into Kabort - and my drivers paid me back with excellence...

Not to toot my own horn, but we had such good drivers, some real golden nuggets - and we still do....there's just many fewer. Next season we will lose even more. I know it, Marco is focussing on his bright karting career that's taking off and Maxim is trying his hardest, but is still, unfortunately a Class C... due to a heck-load of commitments including Hockey, School and a Significant Other...and I worry about Tim too, leaving to focus on his all important GCSE's. I know complaining (if you want to call it that) about my drivers is wrong, and I know I shouldn't type whilst hungry, tired and sad...but I'm afraid it's the truth... At the end of all this, I must thank all those who are still here, even if they race with another team, or are off-line 99% of the time - because the fact it's not just me sitting in this server...has saved me from killing this team entirely...I just hope Twin Ring Motegi isn't the end...

At times I feel like I'm in an endless car wreck...and it just keeps going and going, and getting worse and worse

My final point is on the future....which can be summed up in three simple words: "I Don't Know" I don't know what the future holds - I have no idea what will happen, who will join, who more will leave. I have no idea if I will pass or fail my Maths GCSE (probably fail) - I have no idea if I will find the one I love....or who the next person I lose will be I don't know what more to do, other than keep swimming through this bog....and hope no-one else leaves me. I am doing all I can - in fact, I've done all I can. I've stayed active, yes I have not practiced as much as I should have, and maybe I should have listened to their suggestions - but you can't stop people from leaving...you can't stop someone - or a group of people - from calling you out...once you fall off that cliff...you're hopeless... You can't do anything.. .you are just falling and hope you don't land head first...You can learn to fly, sure, but that would take a long time - and what if by then you've struck the ground? If you do manage to learn to fly - what then? Do you just sit back on the cliff you were before, and hope you don't fall? Where do you fly and what comes next? Hopefully, one day, Karma will come - and tell me "I've seen your struggles, here, have something half-decent" I must finally thank you, my audience for reading all (or some...or one) of my blogs, no matter what subject, how controversial, how much you actually care - the very fact you have come here means the world to me...and gives me strength. I just feel writing gets my stress, fears and worries off my back.... Thank you all once again, weather you are involved in Kabort or not - but just the support you have given me is beyond what I could've imagined. I'd just like to end off by saying....To those that are no longer with Kabort Motorsport - thank you for your time, effort and energy, I hope you made as many memories as I did - it was an absolute pleasure having you and I do hope that wherever you may be right now is where you want to be. Thank you. Robin Truswell.